I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
whose parrot is this?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize