I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
