i permit you to call me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
