i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize