youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
