I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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