Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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