I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
