She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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