my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
