i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
