I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize