my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize