please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
