is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I need water and some morals
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
