It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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