The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
