I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
