Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
