So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
that is very illegal...i love you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
