I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
