i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
try to milk me bitch
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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