I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
