This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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