We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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