we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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