Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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