Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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