If i come over, it means nothing
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We got so high we made milksteak
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
