worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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