You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize