the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
