Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
