I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
