thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
