that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
