Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
