do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
