Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
