It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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