Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
this just has baby written all over it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
