Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
