I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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