It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
