If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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