I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
