I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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