Just fell off a train. Bad.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
