somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
