We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
