how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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