How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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