I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
