help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
