this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize