So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
