Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
