Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
