the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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