erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize